September 18, 2012

Healing. Rejoicing. Crying.

Job 1:21 The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.

I want to thank each and every one of you who have reached out to Tyler and I as we deal with the loss of our precious baby. We are healing. Physically it is taking a long time (in my mind) to recover. The doctors said it would take three weeks (!) for my body to regenerate the quantity of blood that I lost after the miscarriage. So I can’t walk up my own stairs without becoming short of breath, I can’t pick up or carry James, can’t carry in groceries, and I have to sleep a lot. It is hard to have to rely on my mom, friends, or Tyler to do everything for me when I am the mama at this house and I’m supposed to do all those regular things.

Psalm 34:18 The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

So many of you have been praying for me, for us. Thank you, we still need your prayers. The Lord God has been so merciful and gracious to me throughout the miscarriage and following days. He has brought me peace with losing the baby, and I am reassured that s/he is in the presence of Almighty God, without spot or blemish, pain, or suffering. I think Tyler is still more concerned with my recovery; the possibility of losing me was more scary to him than losing the baby. Maggie is learning to deal with the sudden little waves of sadness that pop up at random times. James, well, he’s James. Still running around, making messes everywhere he goes. He is a good distraction and minute-by-minute reminder of the grace the Lord has previously shown, and continues to show me.

I am still sad, and I still cry a lot. And that’s OK, it will probably happen for a while. When we told Maggie about the baby, I reassured her it’s OK to be sad and to cry. We miss our baby because we won’t get to watch them grow up, we won’t get to know them and love them more. But we have assurance that the Lord is in control, and all things work together for our good.

Psalm 34:1 I will bless the LORD at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth.

1 comment:

Janet Yates said...

Oh, Melissa! I am so sorry to read this!!! I will be praying for you today. I'm so glad to hear how God is taking care of you and sustaining your heart. I grieve with you with the loss of this precious baby. Thank you for sharing your heart. I know God will continue to sustain you, be your strength and Joy as the days go on. Love you, friend!