10th Anniversary

Tyler here again.

Back on May 29th Melissa posted a very nice letter to me and our first prom picture, celebrating 15 years of being a couple. On June 19th we celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary and I gave her a card with a letter inside it (there wasn't enough room in the card to write). She said it was OK if I shared it.

So, here it is:

6/19/09

Melissa,

What can I say after 10 years of marriage? I guess the easiest thing I can say is that I love you more now than the day I first said, “I love you.” After all these years, I still get excited when I see you in a crowd. Sometimes, I see someone who looks like you and my heart jumps a bit only to let me down when I find out it’s not you. There may not be any way to describe it but there’s something about you that makes me have to be around you. There’s something about you that always draws me in.

I know we say we’ve changed a lot (and we have) but sometimes I still think of us as two kids who fell in love way to early and were just stubborn enough to never call it quits even when people thought we wouldn’t make it. From age 18 and on I never really gave serious thought to us not making it. It wasn’t just me being thick headed; I never wanted anyone more than you. You were always the girl for me, ever since the day we met. True, I saw you first (all of you, eventually) but once I got the nerve to talk to you I noticed that I had never felt that way about another girl. You definitely were different, and I liked it. I would choose you all over again if I had the chance.

Fast-forward almost 17 years from the day we met and I’m so glad that you are a mature, Christian woman who loves the Lord. It was awesome seeing my best friend give her life to Christ, and it was even sweeter that we ended up falling in love. I still look back on those days with great fondness. I also look back on the early days of our marriage with fondness. Although I’d never trade my life I have now with you and Maggie, it was great to live in a tiny condo with you and go anywhere we wanted whenever we felt like it.

Now that we’re not young anymore (but not old either) I look forward to actually becoming responsible adults together. I really felt like a kid for a large part of my twenties but you’ve helped me understand what it means to be a man. Sometimes, I want to wallow in self-pity but you won’t let me. You are truly my helper, in every sense of the word. I can’t imagine what kind of lazy, gluttonous, self-abasing whiner I would be if it weren’t for you. That’s further proof that God knew what he was doing when he put us together. I need you, everyday. I need you for comfort, for support, and love. God knew that Adam needed a mate and he knew I needed one and I believe he made you and shaped you in to the person you are today to compliment me. I can’t imagine my life with anyone else.

I am also very proud that you are the mother of my daughter. Although I’m certain we’ll have more children, I know if Maggie is all the Lord’s blessed us with, then I feel my life is complete. Thank you for taking the time that I don’t have to spend with her and to teach her right from wrong. I know it hurts to discipline someone you love so much but it is for her own good. Every time I think about it, I pray that she will come to know the Lord at an early age. Certainly, God is using you in playing a part in her learning about her sin, the God we serve, and the need to be reconciled to him. That means so much and makes me love you more. I’m glad that we can still have a deep love even with the rigors of raising a child.

Right now, work takes too much of my time and too much of my emotional energy. I know I don’t give you the time and attention you deserve and I don’t spend enough time with Maggie. At the same time, I also fear not being able to provide for the two of you during a difficult time economically. So, I do what I think I have to for the greater good of our entire family. So many other wives would beat me down with guilt but you’ve stood by my side, been my comfort, and stood up for me. Thank you for the support you give, I don’t know how I could get through the day without it. You are such a wonderfully supportive wife; you’ll never know how much it means to me.

I said in the beginning of this letter that I would choose you again if I had the chance. I don’t mean just back in those High School days. If I were a lonely, desperate 31 year old bachelor and I came across you, just as you are now, I know I’d pick you out of a crowd and just have to talk to you. There’s no way I can picture any other woman in my life. You will always be the love of my life, now and always.

Sincerely you affectionate and ever-grateful husband,



Tyler John Spaid